Category Archives: self-love

Erin Heatherton Talks Insecurities

Former Victoria’s Secret model Erin Heatherton has finally found her voice to speak out about her struggle with body image issues–with the help of Empowered By You!

Posing in a custom shirt from out recently launched T-Shirt campaign, Erin posted two emotional Instagram posts opening up about the pressures of the industry and her newfound desire to help women create the truest versions of themselves.

Erin also quoted our incredible founder Renata Black in the image above of the two badass women! Check out the awesome story in Harper’s Bazaar here!

In the words of Erin, “If you aren’t being true to yourself, then what the fuck is the point.”

 

 

Alex Silver-Fagan: Empowered By Experience

We are stoked to feature Alex Silver-Fagan’s story of empowerment! Read her words below and check her out on Instagram at @AlexSilverFagan. If you’re not already, follow us @EmpoweredByYou to see what more badass women like Alex are empowered by!


 

Life is a series of experiences. Some days better than others, some days worse. Some days you wish would never end, and some days you wish you could forget. But that’s where most go wrong. We should never want to forget anything we’ve gone through. Because it’s these defining moments that shape us into the individuals we are meant to be.

Not only is regret a waste of time, but it is also a waste of energy. Energy that can instead be spent in a positive light, working to move forward. And if we are willing, we must first accept our experiences for what they are: experiences.
I am Alex Silver-Fagan, and if you couldn’t tell by now: I am Empowered By Experience.
Most don’t know this about me but I have 4 tattoos. And when I’m asked what they mean or stand for, I always say “they’re chapter markers.” Just like we can’t undo anything we go through in life, my tattoos are permanent. These experiences leave marks and my tattoos are a tangible reflection. We all have chapter marking tattoos, mine I just chose to show through ink.
Now don’t confuse empowerment with definition. Often people make this mistake and define themselves by the things they go through in life. While we are certainly products of our experiences, if we let them simply define us we are limiting ourself. It’s not the experience that creates you, it’s what you do with the experience and if you use it as a source of growth, awareness, and insight or instead let it take control.
This is what I used to do. I used to let my experiences and events in my life have all the power. I’d let situations affect me and react intensely, rather than analyzing, digesting, and responding with a clear mind. I constantly struggle with this, as do we all.
What’s helped me the most to accept experiences and react lightly is yoga. I found yoga my sophomore year of college and started taking classes 3x a week. At the time my practice was in an effort to start letting go of someone in my life that most people never need to let go of. I was committed to shielding myself from negativity for good and only allowing positive people and experiences in my life. But coincidentally, I was aiming my energy at the wrong thing. Instead of trying to control the people in my life, I should’ve been controlling how I handled them.
We are fortunate that we have no true control of the path and the people the universe has set up for us. I say fortunately because these are the moments that empower us. How we react. How we respond. How we live. And thus, we must respond lightly.
Recently I watched an interview of Ronda Rousey. It was her first since losing the title fight to Holly Holms in December, a massive loss for her career and without a doubt a chapter marking experience in her life. After describing her thoughts in the hospital room after the fight, Ronda spoke strongly through tears and said,  “Being defeated is a choice. Everyone has losses in their life but I choose to always be undefeated.”
We choose the outcome. Life hands us options and we choose how to handle them. Sometimes it’s a losing a fight, sometimes it’s a life threatening illness, sometimes it’s an addiction, sometimes it’s a parent who chooses not to love, or sometime’s it’s a broken heart. Whatever it may be, we choose how to react and we CHOOSE to be empowered by our experience.
Shit happens. Both good and bad. Be grateful to move on and be excited for how you’ll turn out on the other end.
Be empowered. Don’t be defeated.

We’re Brilliant !

EBY Entrepreneur

Hey everyone, long time no see…or long time no blog? Anyways, we’re back with very exciting news (drumroll, please).

Empowered By You has been featured in Entrepreneur Magazine as one of “100 Brilliant Companies”! The list is meant to showcase 100 companies (who could’ve guessed!) that Entrepreneur found to be trailblazers in their field in 2015. It’s pretty awesome to be mentioned alongside other catalysts for social change like Frog Design, EveryLayer, ePantry and so many more impactful companies. It’s always nice to know that there are other companies using their resources to empower others.

Here’s what Entrepreneur had to say about us:
“Twenty percent of net proceeds from the lingerie brand Empowered by You goes to the Seven Bar Foundation, which offers microloans to help impoverished women in multiple countries go into business”

Check out the full article for social impact companies here.
Til next time!

xo,
EBY

Happy Anti-Valentine’s Day! ❤

It’s the week after the oh-so-love-filled Valentine’s Day and now we can’t show some love anymore, right? Wrong. Since when do we need a holiday based off a saint who, fun fact, had nothing to do with love in the first place to celebrate love?

This is why I propose an idea: Anti-Valentine’s Day! Now before you get all in my business talking about, “What’s wrong with Valentine’s Day? Why are you against it? You must be single and bitter!” Chill. This is in no way an attack on Valentine’s Day, but rather a shift in the ways we show love. Think of it like how Empowered By You is in a lot of ways the anti-underwear; we’re not sitting here selling hats! We’re shifting the way we view underwear that promotes empowerment of the self, which then empowers others. The same goes for Anti-Valentine’s Day.

Anti-Valentine’s Day isn’t a holiday. It’s any day that’s not Valentine’s Day where you embody the spirit of Donna and Tom (Parks and Rec’ anyone?), and show a little love to yourself. I encourage all my empowered girls out there to treat themselves this week. It doesn’t have to be Valentine’s Day to show some love.

Here are just a few ways to treat yo’self today (and anyday):

  1. Send yourself some flowers and sweets.

This is a task some people feel is reserved for a significant other to do, but if I learned anything from Clueless (you can learn a lot from Clueless), it’s that you don’t need a guy to send you flowers and chocolate. Sure, Cher was trying to look desirable (added bonus) in front a boy, but she still got to reap the benefits having a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a wrapped box of chocolate hand-delivered to her in front of her classmates. It’s like finally getting something in the mail that you ordered online—sure you bought it for yourself, but it still feels like a opening a present around the winter holidays.

And you can never have too much. A friend of mine bragged about how she buys herself an infant-sized box of assorted sweets every year around Valentine’s Day, whether she’s single or not. And the best part about buying that giant box of candy post-V-Day? Di-iscoooounts!

  1. Buy yourself some cute underwear!

If you’ve been following Empowered By You, you should know by now that wearing cute or sexy lingerie isn’t just about looking hot for someone else, it’s about feeling empowered to empower others. What you’re wearing can change the way you carry yourself and how you view yourself. There’s something really magical about slipping into a new pair of underwear that fits just right. So go out, get that cute lingerie set or that sexy bra you’ve been eyeing, and feel amazing.

  1. Leave yourself little notes or gifts to find throughout the day.

This is kind of in the same vein as sending yourself flowers and does a similar job, but it lasts throughout the whole day! Leave a note on your mirror in big pink letters, “You are loved”. Leave yourself that necklace you’ve been eyeing or a giant teddy bear wrapped neatly at your desk at work or in your mailbox. Get creative! No one knows what’ll brighten your mood better than you do. Like big public displays of affection? Hire someone to shower you in rose petals and sing your favorite love-filled song (I’m rooting for “What is Love?” You could get them to do that funny little head-bob dance from that one commercial ages ago while they serenade you and shower with flowers). Love little messages that make you smile? Set up alarms or reminders on your phone every few hours with some positive words of self-love (a “Damn, you look good!” here, a “You’re a babe!” there). Have fun with it; you’ve got complete control.

  1. Use all that good energy you gained from treating yourself and pay it forward.

I know, I know. I’ve been going on and on about how Anti-Valentine’s Day is a time to be selfish, but there’s something really rewarding about reaching out and spreading the love to someone who may not be getting it. Just because you’re a tough cookie and know that self-love is the best kind of love doesn’t mean that your single friend or that girl who just moved to the city are on the same page. Take all of that self-love and spread it.

Give one of the roses you sent yourself to the security guard that lets you into school or work everyday. It feels good to know that a person whose only interaction with you is a simple “Good morning” or “Thank you” is thinking about you, even if its shown through a gesture as simple as a handing them a flower. Write meaningful letters to your closest friends and family (especially the one’s who might be feeling down). Fill it with inside jokes, excessive flattery, embarrassingly funny stories, the hottest pictures of their celebrity crushes, and, of course, constant reminders of how loved they are. Make someone else feel as good about themselves as you’re letting yourself feel today.

I guess the general idea here is that it’s always a good idea to take care of you. Everyone should feel good about themselves and sometimes that means treating yourself every once in a while. So go out and celebrate Anti-Valentine’s Day. The possibilities are truly endless, so have fun; you deserve it.

Happy Anti-Valentine’s Day! ❤

We’re Urging Women to Love Themselves

I recently watched a TED Talk with Meaghan Ramsey, the Global Director of Dove’s Self-Esteem Project, in which she discusses some shocking— and definitely unpleasant— statistics about women. The title: “Why Thinking You’re Ugly is Bad For You.” Sounds like a no-brainer, right? How could poor self-image possibly be healthy? But that doesn’t stop 10,000 individuals from Google-searching, Am I Ugly?, each month.  

According to Ms. Ramsey, insecurities and low self-esteem related to outward appearance, especially body size, cause women to retreat from opportunity. They refrain from class participation, fearing unwanted gazes at their bodies, they stop engaging in their athletic activities, and women even skip their job interviews, worrying too much about the way they look. These three things all have something in common— they are sparked by our belief that others are judging us. We need to shift this paradigm. We all breakdown, constantly worrying about how we appear in the eyes of others— it’s inevitable in our human makeup, but we need to realize that beauty is more personal than that. It starts from within. While it’s hard to shake, we spend too much time obsessing about the way others perceive us and rely too heavily on our peers’ opinions.

In the ever-growing digital world, trending hashtags on Instagram within the younger female demographic include disgusting phrases like #thighgap and #thinspiration, encouraging girls to scrutinize themselves and their bodies, paving the way for self-hate.  Here at Empowered By You, it’s our mission to make women appreciate their beauty and abilities. We need women to love themselves, to realize that beauty is more than skin deep, so forget #thinspiration. We’re replacing that garbage with #empoweredby on all our Instagram posts, and we urge you to do the same.

We have recently started selling Empowered By You panties in Equinox gyms across the country. With our performance-based fabric catered to athleticism, women feel empowered while they work out, fulfilling our motto: Inner Armor for Outer Strength. Exercise can be a great outlet for stress. When I’m running on the treadmill after a busy week, I can almost feel my anxieties dripping away with my sweat. When I play in a volleyball game, my mind shifts toward the competition; I’m no longer thinking about how I look in my uniform, but how I’m going to position my body so that I can have the perfect form to hit the ball. My body becomes a tool, rather than a spectacle.

Empowered By You also focuses on the message: Whatever Empowers You, Empowers Women Everywhere. We want women to be mentors for others— that’s why we’ve started what we call The Paradigm Shifter Program with sorority girls across the country. The main component to this involves hosting small meetings for 8-10 girls, where they describe their breakdown moments and how it paved the way to a major breakthrough. In doing so, girls connect and feel united instead of comparing themselves to each other and worrying about how others perceive them. Ultimately, here at EBY, we love female empowerment, and with the rise of self-doubt and insecurity among women nowadays, we need to constantly figure out ways to help them see their full potential. That is our mission.